After today's run

Well, I got my 13 miles in this morning. Is it wrong to finish your run and have a little nap? I hope not. The problem is, I was still tired even after getting through it. I finished slow, but I didn't really put up much of a fight. I figured I simply needed to cover the distance. At the halfway point, my brain decided to try and kill me by suggesting I step up my mileage and get to the 20 mile mark today. Luckily, after almost getting hit by a car, cooler heads (mine) prevailed and I was able to talk myself back to 13.

However, next Saturday is just sitting out there like a big dead end. 20 miles! 20 MILES! I hope I can hold it together. I've got a 9 miler on Monday and a couple of 5 milers at above race pace this week. I think I can get to those. Its harder and harder to get those runs in at the gym after doing some resistance training. Chest, Tri, Shoulders - miles; Back, Bi's, Abs - miles. We'll see.

Leg update, hurts. Hurts bad. Oh well.

Harder than it looks

Last year I decided to run a half marathon. I had just started running in October, and mostly on a whim I figured I would enter an event. People around me were talking about 5K's and how much fun they were, so my wife and I started considering entering local events. Of course, being me, I thought maybe I would take it to the next level and train for a marathon run. I had been reading about the marathon weekend at Disneyworld so I did about 5 minutes of research before I decided to enter the half-marathon.

Now that meant I needed to train. I looked at a couple of training regiments and kinda just picked one and followed it in a marginal way. I ran 4 to 5 days a week and made Wednesday nights my long run. Since I was running only a half, I only had to make up to 2 or so hours available. I was doing all of my running at night after the kids were in bed, and moreover it was all in my neighborhood. At best my neighborhood provides a 3 mile loop (this is if you run past the same house a couple of times). So, to ramp up my mile, I would run this loop 2, 3 or 4 times. I didn't do anything about tapering, I didn't pay too much attention to my footwear, I bought clothes only when I needed something warmer or bigger or whatever.

I had an ipod nano given to me as a gift which I immediately used with a Nike+ foot pod to keep track of my miles. I eventually switched to using my phone and broke down to buy an armband. I loved synching my phone and ipod to see how my miles were growing. I also loved listening to music and making newer and newer playlists that would take me farther and farther.

Although I discovered several things along the way, like what it means to have bloody nipples (yuck), how to deal with being thirsty while running, and how to keep my calories intake under control. What was never a problem was getting my miles up. It wasn't hard, it never felt impossible. It felt like as long as there was time, I was going to be able to make it to 13. I never hit any wall. I lost some weight and was encouraged by my progress so I just kept running more and more.

After the race was done, I wanted to run more, so I entered several other races, and as the spring started to increase the temperature, I entered the Wine and Dine (not thinking of the training schedule at all) and it was about this time in March that I decided that I would run a full marathon. I didn't think too much about it until I started reading more running books. They all warned against ramping up your miles too much or too quick. They discussed how to stay healthy and how to manage your running schedule.

The summer arrived and if you've read anything I wrote during the summer, you know that it was very difficult to keep up my running. To compensate, I bought more stuff thinking it would help, but once the summer started to abate, and October was here, I sat down and really planned out my running schedule. I put forward a schedule to which I thought I could adhere. I didn't monitor my weight or food intake too much, but I decided I would concentrate on keeping up my strength training and also keep my protein intake high. I decided on the Novice Level 2 Higdon  training schedule that I modified to fit my personal schedule. You know, steered it around dance classes for my kids, trips to Disney, school functions, and races I wanted to attend.

It was late October that things changed substancially. First, as I approached October 1st and the Disneyworld Wine and Dine, I started to have some pain in my shins. I realized I couldn't get any more miles out of my shoes so I bought a pair of Brook Glycerin's. I only had a week in them before I ran the half, but got a PR even if it was only by a couple of seconds. (I would have gotten under 2 hours if I hadn't stopped for pics with Goofy, oh well). I thought the pain would go away, and it seemed to for a little while.

But a couple weeks later as my miles started to get over 13 that it was clear the pain wasn't going anywhere. Worse, I was in pain longer and longer after my runs. It was after a treadmill pacing run where I had to stop after 2 miles on a 4 mile run that I decided to go and get another pair of shoes or change the shoes or do something about the shoes. I figured it had to be the shoes since it was the only thing that changed. I got some Spenco inserts for the Brooks (I had over 60 miles on them and didn't feel right returning them to the store) and also bought a pair of Nike Pegasus. Now I don't have a ton of money to keep dropping on running stuff, so it took some sacrifices to get more shoes and inserts, but I had to deal with my legs.

Then came my 15 mile run. It was rough. Really rough, the recovery afterwards took days of icing and ibuprofen to deal with the pain. My left leg was really causing me pain, all the time. Walking, laying, running. It would start to go away after 3 miles or so, but getting to that point was tough. Then my 17 mile day; felt great until around 14 miles. Part of that was the weather and the fact that it was the beginning of daylight savings time, so I got the extra hour jump on the day. However, the last 3 miles were rough. It wasn't the leg, it was everything. I realized that I three more miles to go, and I was only going to be 17 miles in with more than 9 miles to go for the real thing. Then I had to get to the 18 mile day. It was this week when my head (which was not connected to the pain in my leg) convinced me to reevaluate my running schedule and try and go from Novice level 2 to Intermediate level 1. The big difference was I was going to try and get over 20 miles before my taper to try and push the wall back. Why? because after the 15 and 17 day had a real wall I was hitting. A point where I didn't think I could continue to move my legs. I was suffering from cramps, fatigue, pain, and a mental battle that I was loosing. But again, there was the 18 mile day.

I had taken a 2 week break (well actually 11 days) while I was away at the Food and Wine Festival at Epcot. I figured I could stand to walk around the parks but not run. I wore my running shoes with extra support the whole time, but kept off the running. The 18 mile day came with no short runs of any kind for 11 days. I hit the road slow but with a new track to run to try and keep me focused. I had more than enough gels and water to see me through. I ran right into that wall at 14 miles. I hit it and hit it hard. I ran 3/4 of each mile, and walked a 1/4 mile for 3 or so of the miles. Talk about total failure. I took breaks, ate more calories than I planned. Hit water more than I planned. That wall was real. I was getting cramps in my quads, hams, and calfs. My legs were burning. It hurt more to walk than run so I tried to keep running, but then I felt like I couldn't keep my legs moving. I just had nothing left. All I could think of was trying to get home. I text my wife to please fill some bags with ice and get some fluids together. I got home just in time to unload the groceries and crawl up the stairs. I was afraid that if I stopped moving, I might not start again. I ran a cold bath and slipped into it. I slowly started stripping my clothes off and icing my shins.

After 30 minutes of icing and cool water bath, I devoured some calories and then on the behest of my wife I laid down. I was attending a beer festival later that day with some friends, but didn't know if I could make it back to vertical from laying down. Eventually I got out of bed and into the car for the afternoon festivities. But, the whole day all I could think of was that I was at the end. I don't think I can make it 26 miles. While I read the blogs and books of others talking about getting themselves down to 3:30 finishes, and others talking about keeping their speeds at 7 minute miles and slowly increasing their distances, I'm beginning to wonder if all I'm doing is fooling myself into thinking I can actually run. Maybe all I'm doing is fancy walking that is taking me close to the edge of true injury.

I always assumed that finishing the marathon wasn't going to be the problem; that trying to do so in the time I'm shooting for was the real battle. That's how my half marathon training went. Now that I'm in the middle of the real long miles, I don't know if I am going to finish. I don't mean the race. I don't know if I'm going to finish the training. It is completely brutal, I'm rattled and in pain all the time. I'm dreading my running days and am scared of not being able to finish. I don't really have anyone to talk to about my fears. I talk to my wife, and she is 100% behind me, but she is like me, inexperienced and wants the best for me. My friends think I'm crazy, and my family is the same. I've actually had someone offer to 'refund' my entrance fee if I don't think I can go on. I want someone to give me some magical advice that suddenly makes it all come together.

The truth is, I'm scared. I've been talking about this race for months and my friends all ask how its going. In the beginning I was all positive about my advancing miles. I was encouraging them all to enter races and pound the road. Now that the going has gotten really tough for me, I don't want to give up, but I'm also concerned that it may be beyond my control. I'm not only concerned that I'm not going to make a good showing, I'm really concerned that I'm not going to finish. I don't want to disappoint my wife or children or friends. I also don't think I could stand to hear anyone tell me "I told you so". However, I'm truly concerned. Am I really injured? Is my leg experiencing a stress fracture that each day I am denying and pummeling into the ground over and over, or am I grasping for any reason to not run? Pain can be managed and controlled (at least I keep telling myself that), but when I hit that wall, I don't know what is going to keep my legs moving.

Of course, then there are the people that don't understand at all how hard this is. People who just don't get how different this is than any other challenge. Who still tell me to Run Forest Run! (Something I hate). I just can't quit, but I really want to. I want to sleep in tomorrow. I want to get back all that time I'm going to spend running. I'm not getting the benefits I thought I would see. No skinny pants, no superb body. In fact, I can't figure out why I'm doing this at all except that I've told people I will and I've paid my fee. These are pretty poor reasons to keep going.

But I remember mile 10 of my first half marathon, seeing Off Kilter on stage playing and me coming over the overpass on my way to Epcot with tears rolling down my face. I had finished something I started and I did it myself. No short cuts, no prodding-all me!

Now I'm sitting hear, ice on my leg, still denying I'm really injured and trying to convince myself that I'm just being weak and its only in my head. I have dropped out of the Space Coast Marathon more due to logistics than anything else (I am being evaluated the next day and want to spend more time on Sunday preparing than driving). I'm trying to find some shred of reason to keep going. I've read all these inspiring stories. In fact, I've read how one of my tweeps, who I've met at a couple races, had to miss her dream of running the Chicago marathon for an injury. I pitied the position in which she found herself, but didn't truly understand until this week. Of course, she is half my age and I don't know how many more years I have left in me to keep running. I didn't start when I was 20, I started at 40! I'm not one of these life long runners who is 150 pounds and can run and run and run. I'm 210 pounds and its not going to change anytime soon. Every step pounds on my bones and joints, and I understand I could ride a bike or jump in a pool, but I chose running because I can afford it and its accessible. I understand now that maybe I should drop back to half marathons, or better yet 5K's. But I want to finish! I want to do it once. I've got the sticker waiting to go on my car. I just don't know if I can do it. In fact I don't know if I can go on at all.

This is a lot harder than it looks. Harder than I ever imagined. Its from now until January where we are really going to see what I'm made of. I'm scared of finding out.

Part 2: Who are we talking about

Consider this, in every school there are student criminals, students with Down’s syndrome, students who are blind, students who are deaf, students who are bipolar and prone to extreme emotional outbursts, students from divorced homes, students in wheelchairs, students who are stoned (again), students who are bullied, students who are bullies, students being beaten, students being emotionally abused, students with AIDS, students who are pregnant, students who are gifted, students who are developmentally disabled, students with weapons, students who won’t have the money to eat dinner, and average students. Yet, schools must provide a clean, safe environment for all of them, and still be judged on how well they do on state and district testing, how many of them come to school each day, how many fights occur each year, how many students are suspended, how many students we graduate, how many students we enroll in advanced placement course, and how many students we retain.

Many of these students are entitled to an individualized education plan (IEP) to address their specific needs. The federal government also established individualized student plans in what are known as 504 plans for students with special needs. Parents have grown accustomed to and expect direct access to the teachers of their children. These plans can be as simple as requiring students to sit close to the board. They could be more involved to allow students to have extra time on tests (that the teacher will have to find time to manage). Of course, they could also become quite specific to require a student have an aid or be in a self contained environment for their safety or the safety of other students in the school.

However, all of the students are to make adequate yearly progress. They will have that progress measured on a test demonstrating their growth, yet all year they will receive grades based on the percentage of what they know, and how close they are to a predefined goal. For example, all student performance on a standardized or district made test, will be used as the baseline data for every student in a class. At the end of the year they will take another test for that class. This new test will be compared with the test from the previous year and each student’s growth will be judged (how it is judged is usually a guarded secret to prevent biased discussions). In some places students of similar background are compared together across schools to build a profile of student growth for a specific teacher. At the same time, the student receives grades not based upon their growth, but on their achievement based on a consistent standard. As an example, students may receive an A if they get 90% or more of the questions correct on a test.

These two measures are not necessarily incompatible, but they do offer specific differences. First, students are not aware of their yearly comparative progress. Next, some students are clearly more valuable to a school or teacher's yearly progress than others.

Coming next part 3: What do you mean by testing?

Injuries are for the strong, but I'm weak

Well, I'm interrupting my boring diatribe about teaching, to whine about my most current predicament. I'm now injured. I don't want to admit it to anyone or worse, to any doctors, but I fear I've done something to myself. I have been very careful about my running, not increasing too fast, making the most of the time before and after I run. Giving myself appropriate rest time and eating right as well.

I did change my shoes, and found that they may have been a part of the problem. Now, after a couple of weeks of limping around, I have come to the realization, that I really have a problem. It could be tendinitus. It could be a tibular stress fracture. It could be some other form of shin splints. But, I have the pain in the same location on both legs, and it is much worse on the left than the right.

So, what should I do? Many people tell me to quite running for a while, but I am 7 weeks away from my first marathon. Even if I was healthy, I don't know if I can finish one, but with the pain, I'm not only worried I won't finish, but also worried I might create a long term problem.

I don't want to be a quitter. I have people all around me helping me quit. My wife, is fully supportive and backs my fully. Of course, I know she is worried as well. So I'm gonna hide my limp, and focus on finishing. I've laid off the last race I was going to enter and it looks like I'm gonna miss the Space Coast marathon in order to work in a little extra rest. I hit the treadmill and orbital to keep up my endurance.

We'll see what happens. If this has been you, I no longer think of injuries the same way.

E-

Part 1: Politicization of Education

Education has been politicized since it was recognized that he who influences the young shapes the future. If you want that future to include your views and your agenda, you can build a generation of people who agree by injecting your views into education. Therefore, from local to national attention, politics have shaped every facet of the experiences of our children in public and private schools. Although many would argue that private schools offer a way for people to escape the political influences within public schools, they are intimately connected in ways that most people don't recognize.

Moreover, education in the United States, by design, was created to support the politic being created by the founders. In order to have a nation ruled by an electorate, first there needed to be an educated populace that could skillfully select those to govern. As that government took shape, it was also clear that through education, a nation's relevance in the larger international politic could be increased by its ability to create intellectual capital and property that rivals other nations.

Through the years, the public schools have been a battle ground of competing influences. As a result school policy has become a patchwork of both local and federal influences from both liberal and conservative administrations. From the design and structure of school buildings, the type and frequency of testing, the curriculum to be taught, the selection of teachers, and the behavior of employees in the workplace has all been to a large degree legislated. Further, the courts have established specific mandates due to challenges to existing laws and the freedoms afforded by the constitution.

Stay Tuned for Part 2: Who are we talking about?

Competitive Teaching: Forward

What does it mean to have real teacher pay for performance.

Forward: I have been working on this story for a while, and though I haven't really put all of this in one place, I need add this forward before I assemble the pieces, and before you read this through to the end. I am a teacher. I have been teaching for sixteen years as has my wife. We have seen many trends come and go in education, but we have not been in the system so long that we are inflexible. At the same time, we are also in a place that we have seen and been a part of good teaching and can describe the conditions of a bad classroom environment.

I have children of my own, and I have seen them through their teachers, both the good and the bad. I have been influenced more by their treatment and how their classes affect my family than my professional training.

Lastly, I am a real teacher. I did not come to teaching from another profession (I am not suggesting that good teachers aren't coming to teaching from the business world, but I will touch on the difference in my text). I was trained in a discipline and then when through a collegiate educators program that included classroom observations and student teaching. This cannot be stressed enough. I was required to observe teaching, look at the good and bad, discuss the differences and go back to watch again. I was required to teach, under the tutelage of a professional in the field so that my skills could be watched and dissected.

I want you to know that I take my job seriously and like other teachers who I respect, have integrity to my profession, genuine care for my students, and desire to be good at what I do. So when you read this, know that my view isn't arbitrary nor is it jaded by poor performance. I have been at the top of my career for many years and have received awards for my performance. I am a Nationally Board Certified Teacher who has been recognized for excellence from several outside organizations. I have supervised new teachers and have worked with colleges and universities on shaping the nature of teacher instruction. Ultimately, I like my job and intend to continue being a teacher. Now on with the show.

Part 1 Politicization of Teaching... Coming next

Teaching an Art

Today I had two military recruiters provide a guest lecture to my students and I am struck by something. I am putting the finishing touches on a long multipart discussion of the wave of new teacher evaluation systems making their way across the nation, but I was struck by two recurring things.

First, as I watch these two recruiters present, provided with all sorts of tools and time, and enhanced by having presented the same presentation over and over again, to similar groups of students each time, I am struck by how awful it is. Any comedian will tell you, you have to work the room and know your crowd. A room full of suckers can easily be lead, you don't have to know what you are talking about, you have to know your room full of suckers. I have taught for years, but capturing the room and working the room is essential to teaching.

Let's face it, we are con artists. We bait and switch, we deceive, we commit slight of hand, we exaggerate, we amplify. Teaching requires a working knowledge of the group in front of us. Even if you don't know them as individuals, you have to know them as people. Watching these two present, reminds me that good teaching, requires that you capture the room.

How do evaluation programs rate the ability of a teacher to capture the room? So far, what I've seen doesn't ever look at the essence of teaching. You can get your group to be quite, but I don't know if you can get them to listen. I watch these two presenters fumble through the room, ask questions to dead silence, and crack jokes that solicit no laughs.

This is essentially the problem at hand, how do you measure something that is so elusive as presence. When I was still training to be a teacher, we called it 'withitness' but withitness is your ability to perceive the emotional heartbeat in the room while witnessing the plethora of activity taking place under the surface around the room. Presence, is more than withitness, its about thane 'withitness' while also having captured the room; moved the class from staring, to listening, to actually hearing what you have to say. Knowing your crowd in such a way that you capture them personally, and maintain them indefinitely.

Did you have fun?

I really enjoyed the Wine and Dine Half marathon, but as the days since the event have passed, I keep getting asked the same question. Did you have a good time? Well, now that this isn’t my first half marathon, I knew what to expect. Well, I thought I knew what to expect, but as the event progressed, I realized that each event is separate and unique. Having only run a handful of races, I am constantly amazed at the power of finishing. But, just as often, there are times when I don’t think I can go any faster, I don’t think I can go any farther, I don’t know if I can continue to breath. Its an odd sensation, but eventually you realize that you are indeed going to finish, but is it fun? 

No, its not fun. Its a hell of a lot of work. I’ve said this before, I don’t think of myself as a runner. I think of myself as a cheapskate who chose to run because it wasn’t going to cost me anything. Although that’s not exactly true, its has cost me plenty, I didn’t have to put out that money all at once. I don’t have to answer to anyone, well, I at least don’t have to answer to anyone while I’m running. I often have to find the time to cram it into my schedule. I have to find time, energy, and a willingness to get off my dead ass. So when I get out there, I am often also looking at the clock. I have to hit my target and get back home in time for this, or for that, or for both!

Am I enjoying myself. Well, no, five miles into my last 13, I lost my nip-guards. I’ve joked about this before, but it is no joke. I stopped running, (costing me my under 2 hour half marathon - of course stopping for picts with Goofy didn’t help either!), dug out my spare set and tried to apply them to my sweaty, hairy, wet body. The slipped off before I finished that mile and I still had nearly 7 to go. They were on fire, and I’m sure bleeding profusely, but what was I to do. Stop? No! I was wearing a red shirt, blood is read, so I just pressed onward and kept going. The burning increased and sometimes, I had to just lift my shirt off my chest, but that is only a temporary solution and gets worse when you drop the shirt on the nips again. I’m too self conscious to take that shirt off and finish without it. Not to mention, no one wants to see some old hairy sweaty guy crossing the finish line. My shirt is my security blanket and I’m not going to loose it that easily. (Not yet) They make duct tape, next race, I’ll shave and apply some.

Am I enjoying myself? Did I have fun? Well, my shins gave me trouble from mile 1 to mile 4, the pain would sometimes be intense, but would dull. My headphones clicked against my earrings (yeah I know, earrings on a guy, how 80’s) and eventually the new headphones had to be pulled off and carried. The new shoes worked good, but I chose thin socks that didn’t really work for me. No blisters, but by the end they were saturated and slid around a bunch. My phone stopped tracking me and I lost one and half miles of progress and had to force myself to stop checking my watch and worrying about my pace. 

Did I have fun? Around mile 7 I realized that if I am really training for a marathon, I would only be just past a quarter of the way there. I was exhausted already and knew I couldn’t keep my current pace. I started to despair the idea of running 26 miles in January. I realized that next week I would have to run another one of these, but without the glitz of a race. I would have to drive myself to some trail and run for two hours just to keep my miles up while fighting fatigue, bikers, and the sun. I would have to hit the gym late at night when my tasks were done for pacing on the treadmill and weight training. 

Am I enjoying myself? No. Did I enjoy the race? No. Did I enjoy the finish? Hell yes! Did it make up for the race? You bet your ass it did. Medal around my neck, breathing deep and hard, sucking down the water, yeah I enjoyed it immensely. 

A PR can change a man.

It's done. A year later, and it's done. I ran another half marathon. Leading up to this run I really doubted not only my ability to run and finish, but whether or not running was in my future. I set a pretty ambitious schedule for myself this summer, and thought I would have no trouble meeting it. I loved that all the people I knew thought I was crazy for continuing to train while the mercury kept rising. Of course, I also knew that the only way I would have a chance of running the Wine and Dine was to keep running over the summer.

But as the heat got higher and the humidity increased, I started having more and more difficulty hitting my  distances. Then, stupid me bought a sports watch. Not just any sports watch, I decided to spend what little "extra"money I had on more watch than I will ever fully use. So I kept finding myself watching the stupid thing and watching my heart rate go up while my pace went down. I was becoming demoralized. Demoralized and heat stroked.

So when we arrived at the Wild World of Sports for the Wine and Dine Half Marathon for the sports expo, I went in wearing the shirt I bought for my first halfathon just ten months ago.

The excitement totally started to build. It was almost as if I was a real athlete. I have never been an athlete, not so sure I will ever be one, but when you're at the expo, and some strange guy is rubbing your calf with a stick discussing the pliability of your muscles and the number of rough knots therein, you find yourself saying things like, "Yeah, well they've been really tight since that last 8 miler I did." Blah blah blah muscle muscle muscle run run run.

Picked up my shirt and my packet then we walked the grounds. I wasn't looking for anything in particular except maybe some cool Disney stuff. Of course the only other shirt I really wanted they didn't have in my size. I did however, find a shirt that was a little close to home:

 Yup, there it is, the shirt that says it all. Considering what would await me later that night, it was kinda funny I saw it. Did you know that in the sunlight, it actually shows blood coming out from under the band aides? They even had a uv light at the expo to prove it! No, I didn't buy it. Why buy it, if I wear a white shirt I could live it! Yipee!

 I really started to feel not just excited but relaxed. The race was still several hours away, I knew I was going to have some fun at a park and we had no where we had to be. So after the expo, we decided it was time to eat. I had a calorie regiment I wanted to keep and was sucking down water everywhere. So I bought a hat (I really do like the hat), and we headed over to Hollywood Studios. Using the lines app (gotta love Touring Plans) we managed to sketch out a quick tour of the park and work in lunch. We were trying to stay on budget, so we just ate at the Backlot. Couple of turkey sandwiches. Lovely, but the complex whole wheat toast was as good as any pasta, but the turkey and cheese was a great protein combo.

After our lunch, and some hearty laughs watching the tourists at Hollywood Studios, we decided to hit the park quick for some fun. Five minute wait for Star Tours 2.0 meant we could have two quick rides to see as much of it as possible. Two rides and not one repeated sequence! Woot! I finally got the Hoth sequence I wanted so bad (it was awesome and we were dead center first row!) Two bad the Rebel Spy wasn't working at all on any ride vehicle that day. My wife had never been on the ride, and she still hasn't it seen it pick a random person and exploit them for fun!

By this time our fast passes for Rockin Roller Coaster were up, so away we went. As always it was a fantastic ride and over way too soon. but I love how the guy behind me and I had the best expression!

 We rode a couple more attractions, but got the heck out of the park before the parade began. I wanted to get all checked in at the hotel and maybe get a little rest in before we headed back out to EPCOT. We ended up having some problems with our room, but you can read all about that at my Disney blog, over at Grimgrinningghost at blogspot.

Now it was time to be off to EPCOT. Here is where I have more critique of the experience. I was running the race, but my wife was going to wait for me. She had a spectator ticket for the party. So we decided to both go to EPCOT on Disney transportation then, I could hop the busses from there to Wide World of Sports for the start of the race, while she waited 'patiently' at the park. But the busses leave EPCOT to WWoS at 7:00 and all of the materials suggest getting on them immediately. So of course, being the person that I am, I get on the first bus leaving for the starting line. That means I'm going to be out at the starting line for three hours until the start of the race. I brought calories and my race food, but I hadn't brought enough hydration to last. Moreover, what was I going to do for all that time? Note to self, they give you way to much time to sit around than you need. I have read of these people who miss the start of the race, but they must really screw up! As I was waiting and watching all the pre-race merriment, I did finally begin to get my game face on. I was getting worried. I knew I had been training, but as I looked around at the crowd, the faces were younger and bellies smaller.


 The field was starting to fill up and I began to see a more and more eclectic group, but realizing I was in Corral A, I wondered if I really belonged there? I had an idea of what my finish time should be. I was willing to give it some latitude considering how awful my training had been this summer. Should I really be at the front of this race with 12,000 runners behind me? I was really concerned that I would spend the entire race watching people pass me.

 So I ate my pre-race food. A package of pop tarts and lots of water (luckily they were handing out water there) and made several trips to the porta potties. (My second fear that I would be in line for the potty when they start the race).

I had eaten a complex carbo dinner with my wife at the resort before we left, but wanted to make sure I had caloried up before the race began. Not too close to the start to make me sick, but not too much in advance either.

 The time had come and runners were getting to their Corrals, so I made my way over to mine. They were stacking us in pretty tight since the corral was full and I kept getting closer and closer to the starting line. I have watched those videos of the start of the race, and have seen those athletes when the race begins taking off like a shot.

I knew what pace I wanted to keep and I knew where my trouble spots would probably be. Of course, I was plagued with the thoughts of this being my last race. That I would DNF and never want to do this again. My nip guards were in place and my spibelt loaded. I had decided to ditch my camera (I've gotta get a better phone camera) since I was dealing with enough new gear. I had new shoes (only 18 miles on them) and my headphones had broken two weeks earlier, so I was dealing with new ones. I was looking at the crowd gathered around me and was hoping that I would make a decent showing tonight. Most of all, there were the constant reminders that at the end of the line, there would be a massive party waiting for me.

With the National Anthem sung, it was only a few short minutes until the start. I had left the heart monitor behind, fired up Nike+ GPS on my phone and set my watch. (Don't ask why I still use both, I'm just a little OCD, and I look at one as a back up to the other.)

 The race started and I got into a pretty comfortable pace. I kept telling myself that I was going a little two fast for my training, but I felt pretty good. The air was cool and the initial streets were nice and wide. Being in the front meant I didn't feel too congested at the start of the race. In face, I never felt congested (although I have read some reviews that Animal Kingdom was pretty packed near the middle of the pack).

I even stopped to get my picture with Goofy. Five miles into the race I had lost both nip guards and was bleeding pretty good. Always wear a red shirt, always wear a red shirt. I will have to find a solution by the time I run my next race.

Also, my new headphones started to give me trouble. I didn't realize when I was testing them that my earings (yes I still wear them, yes I know I'm old and should grow up, no I don't know how dumb I look in them, and no I don't think I will be taking them out any time soon.) kept clicking away as they tapped against the housing. Worse, once I was completely wet with sweat they kept popping out. I knew I should have spent more time fitting them to my head. Oh well, for the last couple of miles I just held them in my hand. It didn't really matter by then. The streets outside of Hollywood Studios were filled with people cheering, and that made it not only magical but ultimately amazing.

As I got closer to the end, I tried to keep my pace 30 seconds per mile faster than my training, and when I passed through the finish line and the MC announced my finish I knew I had just recorded a personal record. I didn't shave off much, just a couple of minutes, but if I hadn't stopped for Goofy or to reapply nip guards that were going to fall out anyway, I probably could have gotten under 2 hours.

So now at EPCOT, wearing my medal with pride, I changed into dry clothes to head in and join my wife. I wanted a beer (or three) to taste some food, but mostly to walk the park feeling like a true athlete. I made it through a hard summer of training and although this really isn't the story of the run, or the story of what I think of the event, this is the story of how I made it through my training.

When I finished my first Half Marathon, I was elated that it could be done by someone like me. I remember sitting at my desk during final exams and after my students had left the room, firing up Active.com to see what other races were out there. I was so excited and somewhat lost. I needed to have another carrot and stick to keep me moving forward.

Now that I made the long stretch through the off season, I have many races on my calendar. In smack in the middle is that full marathon in January, back here at Disney.

I will write about my actual race ups and downs, and I will write a review of the Wine and Dine, but right now, I want to bask in the afterglow of the race. I feel great. It's Monday, my last rest day before I get back into my training schedule and I couldn't look more forward to lacing up and getting out there.

1 year

One year ago tonight I bought my first pair of running shoes. A couple weeks later I bought a better set. I set a half marathon goal. In January I achieved that goal. It is now 1 year from those first shoes and I am embarking only 5th half marathon!!! Let it rock!

Why am I doing this. . . . . . . .

I was lamenting my new running schedule to someone close to me, while at the same time complaining about how hot it has been and how hard it has been to get out and run. The days here in Florida have been hot and humid, the air still, and the ground hard. I've run myself dehydrated more than once, light headed and shaky needing a rescue, but not having the humility to do so. So after a good run (the first in several months) I was looking over my running schedule and getting both excited and scared all at the same time.

So again, I was lamenting my schedule, when someone close to me said they couldn't understand why I was going to do this, you know, run a full marathon. I've written my reasons for running, several times in these pages. I'm not sure I can really articulate it. Recently, in the middle of my runs, I've been at a loss for adrenaline or motivation. But, I still lace up my shoes and get out there even on the worst of days. 

Why do I do this? Why do I keep doing this? I'm not loosing weight. My gut is about the same. I'd love to say I have more energy, but I've been going to bed earlier and I'm all the way tired at the end of every day. More stamina? A better lover? Able to leap tall buildings? Medium size buildings? Small puddles? Not so much. So what am I getting from this? 

I'm not sure I can fully articulate it. I don't know that I like running. It's inexpensive. When I run I see all the cyclists getting their gear ready and know that my shoes wouldn't even pay for the pads that go in their bicycle shorts. It's easy to do. I've so far been able to run without any special training. But like I said, I don't know that I like running. 

So why do I do it? It took me two hours to setup my calendar to include all of the marathons I want to run and the due dates for the money. I then had to add all of my running days and amounts to make sure I can ramp up my distances in time while skirting around all of my other commitments to family and holidays. But, still I did it, and as the due dates approach, I try to make sure I register.

Why do I do this? Why do I want to do this? I've had a variety of reasons. I wanted to loose weight. I wanted to be better. I wanted to see something all the way through. I had yo-yo'd my weight so many times, somehow I thought this would fix it. I have a library filled with books of things I have wanted to learn or teach myself and never got it done. I've started three businesses, and haven't done particularly well at any. 

So why am I doing this? Well, my new favorite reason developed over the summer. My wife and I are teachers. Our retirement is meager as is our salary. Another person I know has a far higher earning potential, a well funded 401K, and the potential for real vertical advancement. But he definitely works, he works, and he never ceases to remind me of how much he works. I know that he will probably be in a position to retire early and still provide for his children. Not to mention, I'm sure he has been able to insure his life to make sure his family is taken care of if things go bad. It has become painfully clear that the only thing I really have to offer my children and my family is me. Running is my chance to be here. I might spend a lot of that time working, but I will be here. I have to be. I have to continue to provide for my family, but at the same time I want to be here for them. Happy, healthy, and able to do the things I love with the people I love. 

Let's hope that will be enough to see me through. Besides, I hear they have beer at the finish line.

Education

Over the next few days I will be posting a series of articles about education in Hillsborough County and the broader problem of how to have true incentives for good teaching. I am also going to tackle the problem with competitive teaching and who it serves and who it doesn't.

I hope you will find it interesting, but be forewarned, this is a bit of a diversion and more importantly it may make you uncomfortable to read, especially if you have school age children. Rest assured, I love teaching and hold my job in the highest regard.

Faster than the speed of dark!

So neutrinos travel faster than the speed of light. Or so it has been reported at the Cern observatory. As expected, I have had a lot of questions on this subject. Although I can't speak to all of them, I can offer this bit of thought.

The universe is unfolding as it should. The rules that govern the universe can only be detected as far as our senses can reach. Although we are quite good at helping our senses with fancy detectors, scopes, and measuring devices, we are completely limited by the human experience. The human experience shapes and distorts our limited ability to understand nature. As we reach for better ways to interpret what our senses deliver, we become more able to understand the complexities of the universe.

At the same time, the complexities we unlock tend to breed more complexities. The problems we solve are solved by opening our eyes to see farther. When we see farther, we see new things, that unlock new problems. They require new ways to see, which we invent and the cycle repeats.

I think the news of faster than light travel of neutrinos will say more about neutrinos than it does about Einstein.

But, as I've always said, it is very exciting to see the boundaries of science being pushed back!

1000 Miles

On October 1st, 2010 I bought my first pair of running shoes. They were inexpensive. It was near the beginning of the school year, so after preparing all the kids for back to school, we were short on money. Being teachers, it's not like it comes flooding back into the coffers once school begins. They were a pair of Nike Free's. Not exactly the best choice for long distance running with a 240 pound runner.

My wife had insisted that I get a new pari of shoes, since I was running on some old pair of walking shoes I had been using for housework. In order to appease her, I bought these from the mall. Some kid brought me several pairs of different shoes to try. I insisted they be on sale. He knew nothing about me, and I knew even less about what I needed. I did know that I was trying to be cheap. Moreover, I had an iphone and wanted to use the Nike+ sensor.

Also, I didn't want to invest in running. This was not the first time I was trying something new. My history said that I would jump in and buy a ton of things that I thought would be necessary. Then after the newness wore off, I would be stuck with a bunch of stuff I never used, or paid a years worth of membership dues for a couple months participation. Failed attempts at businesses and activities litter my house. I wasn't going to invest in yet another failure.

After running in these new shoes for about a month, I knew they wouldn't see me through to the end. I was definitely a heal striker, and although I would begin to evaluate my foot falls more careful in the future, right now I was just trying to get one foot in front of the other. After a little research on twitter, talking to friends, and reading through magazines, I went and bought a pair of new shoes at a running store. My running gait was evaluated and my weight was taken into account. Another pair of Nike's but this time I bought a pair with more support.

Eight hundred and seventy three miles have been clocked on my Nike GPS app plus another 173 on my Nike+ app. That's right, a thousand miles. Although, I know I need a new pair of shoes, its been a hard summer and I'm still not sure I am going to make it out of this summer an intact runner. So, although I am probably going to buy a pair of Brook's Glycerines or Ghosts, I won't have them in time to break them in before the Wine and Dine Half Marathon on October 1st. Moreover, I don't really want new shoes for this run. This run will be a weird triumph. I expect it to be my slowest performance. I expect that I will actually walk part of it (I hope not but hey...). Worse, I have thought long and hard about whether or not I really want to keep running over the past couple of weeks. I'm definitely not going to buy a new pair of shoes now. I'll wait until I'm holding that next medal. Maybe then, I will remember what it was like last autumn, when the weather was changing and the breeze was nice. When I first started running and wasn't bloodying up the front of my shirts. When I didn't care about my pace or my heart rate. When I just kept thinking, "yeah, I can do this."

Just posted my event schedule

Ok, so I just posted my event schedule for the year. I don't think there is an actual chance I will make all of these. But since I now understand that when the weather is right, you gotta get busy with your events.

A friend of mine who runs ultras was discussing his schedule this summer. He placed his daughter in charge of taking care of his running schedule. He travels all over the states to run, so I can't imagine how complex his event schedule actual is. All I did was try and put together an event schedule for local races. I didn't even try make it too far out of the city.

Now the schedule is pretty hectic once we get into December. I am not sure I am running an event each week through January, but I got them all on my calendar so that I can make a good run at the season while its here.

Now is the time

I just completed filling out my training schedule for my first marathon. January 8th, 2012 during Walt Disney World's Marathon Weekend, I will be among thousands of others during my first marathon. Sixteen weeks of training remain between now and then, and I have set up a challenging yet achievable schedule to get me there. I ramp up to 20 miles by the middle of December so that I can begin my taper through the holidays and be ready and refreshed in time for the run.

I can't say that I am excited. Nervous, curious, concerned. All of these adjectives are more appropriate. However, I have also had a depressing and discouraging summer. As I attempted to maintain my training over the hot summer, I have slowly deteriorated. I bought into a gym in order to build muscle mass and have an air conditioned place to hit the treadmill. I bought a nice sports watch (Garmin Forerunner 610 to be discussed later). I read running and health conscious books feverously. Yet, by the end of the summer I could barely muster runs longer than 8 miles. EIGHT MILES! Are you kidding!

I ran ten miles on Saturday, while requiring a half mile walk near the end. This was better than previous runs, but clearly not the level for which I was targeting. The heat has just killed me. Now, with two weeks to go before my next half marathon, I am really concerned that this whole running thing was just a cruel joke. What made me think I could actually be a runner? 40 years old, 210 pounds, hairy with bloody nipples. What the hell? Shouldn't I be drinking beer and grunting at the tv?

I've been asked recently why I want to run a marathon. Six months ago when I paid the registration fee, I could have easily answered that question. Now, I'm not sure. I could repeat all the reasons I've heard others say, but all of them would be a lie. Right now the only reason I could recount that would actually be true is, "I've already paid for it and there are no refunds." I'm not sure that will be enough to see me across the finish line.

Fitting Fit In

Since October, I have been trying to increase my physical fitness. As some of my friends know, my wife got me started, and I have really thrown myself into fitness over the past couple of months. Most recently I joined a local gym. I've had gym memberships before, so I am dubious about this venture, so currently I sought out a no contract arrangement. My real goal was to find a place to run in air conditioning since the heat and humidity are really making running difficult for me.

Now, with that quick update, I want to get the meat of my thought today. Fitting it all in. I am the father of three girls, a teacher, and own a house with my parents. We decided some years ago to buy a multigenerational house when we all moved at the same time. Although it has come with some challenges and required some adjustments, it has provided benefits all around. Currently, however I have found that squeezing in workouts is getting more and more complicated.

I used to remember thinking about how busy life had become when my wife and I had first started our professional careers. We lived in an apartment, had no children, and were just out of college. I look back on those days and laugh. Ultimately I can't remember what I was so busy doing. I certainly wasn't keeping myself physically fit. Being a new teacher was demanding and often required late nights grading and prepping for the next day, but certainly a trip to a gym, or a quick job was not only possible, but would have been pretty easy.

Now that my life has really gotten complicated, I find it more and more depressing that I waited so long in life to take my own health seriously. I used to fool myself into thinking that I didn't really need to worry about it, I was active with my children, shared their same schedule, kept them busy with activities, and participated when I could. However, the real thought that I could be more like my parents when I aged struck me. I decided it was critical that I take control of my body and make it a real priority.

Unfortunately making it a priority has come with some real consequences. first and foremost, making a happy home requires certain conditions need to be met. With such a full house, keeping everyone updated on the daily schedule and trying to find time to as a family sit down for meals offers lots of complications. And the more we let those schedules lapse the more distant we all grow. This poses real problems for a harmonious life. I have taken an odd role in all of this. Although living with parents can often be emasculating, it does require that you find an inner strength to walk a delicate line. I need to offer my parents a certain amount of respect and strength while at the same time looking out for the priorities that I have outlined for my children and myself. You never stop being a child in the eyes of your parents, but you have to be both an adult for your own kids and transition to a care giver when necessary for your parents. Although my parents are still in relatively good health, I do find myself often providing them with certain comforts to make their days easier. At the same time, the pace at which I run my children is different than the pace that they are able to maintain, so we are often running frantically to do all the things we wish to experience day to day and week to week. During the year, between dance classes, school work for the kids, my wife and I's teaching demands, and keeping up with the household responsibilities, the weeks can get both complicated and demanding.

One would think that the summer would offer a break, but we believe in seizing the summers. As teachers, we have less pay than others with similar education, so we believe that our paycheck arrives in the form of rays of sunshine, and salt from the ocean, and time with nothing to do but connect with our children. So, in the first month alone, we have been to the beach 8 times, been to Kennedy Space Center, swam with Manatees, toured Hollywood Studios, squeezed into Main Street for Independence Day Fireworks, and visited with several parts of our extended family. Furthermore, I have repaired the roof, planted flowers, cleaned the garage, rearranged parts of the house, hung drapes, and washed the windows. All this and we are just now entering week 5 of our summer.

So, when it comes to getting into that gym, it has been tough. In an effort to appease my wife and to encourage my children to stay fit, I have moved our treadmill to the upstairs. This works great for everyone except me. I'm 210 pounds, and it doesn't seem like that is ever going to change no matter how much I run. However, 210 pounds running upstairs on the treadmill shakes the entire house. And since I often run for an hour, its hard to find a time when I can do that and not be waking someone up, or interrupting someone's work or etc etc... The gym offers a treadmill I can abuse without it conflicting with my family, and although when I am done at the gym, it might be covered in sweat and begging for mercy, it all stays there. This also gives me a chance to get off the total gym here at home, and get in some serious resistance training.

So now this means finding 1.5 to 2 hours a day that I can escape and get to the gym. It now comes down to making this happen at all hours of the day and night. I've only been a member for 2 weeks, but I've been in the gym at 8am, 10pm, 3pm, 10:30am. I'm all over the place, and since I can't get myself into a regular schedule, I am constantly rethinking the work out I want to do each day. This makes getting through a workout even longer. Moreover, its been years since I have been faced with a room full of equipment, so I am also constantly trying to remember all of the exercises I want to do or that are available.

As I sit here an ramble, I realize of course that I could be done with my cardio and moving on to the weights, but sometimes I just have to get something off my chest before I can move on. If you're reading this, I'd be interested in how you deal with these types of challenges. I won't bore you with the problems I have nutritionally, just keep in mind that my parents are not interested in any kind of diet, so I live in a home filled with food food and more food! Arg!!!

Time to hit the gym, gotta run off these M&M's!

An Educator in Florida

As a teacher in Florida, I can't help but be offended by letters in the paper and comments from readers that our education system is broken and atrocious. The calls for privatization of the program and a move towards capitalism in teaching is both ridiculous and irresponsible.

Thomas Jefferson believed self governance required an educated populace. It therefore became the responsibility of the governed, the members of the community, to educate their children in order to take on the role of self governance as contributing members of the community. We are all responsible for the education of our young.

Now as the world has evolved and the nature of education has changed, the focus of our schools has come into question. I could raise the argument that Jefferson wasn't faced with our world globalization and worldwide competition for resources, but our government is designed to handle change and to grow to accommodate.

The very idea of handing off schools to private enterprise is just as irresponsible as the parent who doesn't go to school conferences or take an active role in their child's education. The call for vouchers is a direct threat to the nature of community. By removing oneself from the community and taking away your resources from the collective, you weaken the community as a whole and isolate yourself from society. Further, you take the position that you and your child are some how more important than the role we have for you in the community. I'm not suggesting that you not make yourself your first priority; however, I am suggesting that you have a duty to your community in the same way that you should vote, help your neighbors in need, take a role in community discourse, and lead by example.

People who can afford private education seek it out for two primary reasons; to provide a nonsecular environment for their children and/or the belief that their primary school is inadequate either due to class sizes, poor test scores, or the like. The cost of private education is high, and interesting enough the pay to the teachers and administrators at those schools is low. Except in some elite (translated as very high tuition schools) the resources are normally not any better than public schools as well.

Vouchers can be no more than the states contribution per child which is around $3000 dollars per year. This will not bring private school within the reach of most families. In fact, of the schools I've surveyed, this would not pay for even one semester of a private school tuition. So people who can already afford private school will get a tax break and a few people who were on the verge of sending their child to private schools may decide to move their child, but the vast majority of students in public education would not change. What would change however, is a permanent reduction of public school funding for all of those children who are currently in private schools who will have their tax money removed from the public school system. This a poor example to set and creates an even larger separation between the elite and the average.

If you wish to make a change in public education, then become a part of the solution. Take part in your community. We have school districts for a reason; to allow the community to take part in the discussion. The more we let state and federal laws into our schools the less control we have. By letting the state legislature decide the fate of your schools over the past 8 years you have let them dictate the terms of the debate. We now have nearly 5 weeks of testing in K-12 schools when you include all of the required local, state, and federal testing for all of the programs for which we are responsible. You must also remember that since you won't parent your children, we are asking the schools to take on that burden as well. Therefore, we teach sex education, look for signs of abuse, teach primary children where it is ok for people to touch them and when it is not, feed every student breakfast and many of them lunch, provide transportation to the school and back home again, create a well balanced and meaningful extracurricular program, and have an active sports and arts program. I challenge you to find one private school that will do all of these and still pay their people well and provide your student with transportation. Furthermore, you (and by you I mean the collective you) would have our legislature debate the merits of evolution vs. creationism and Tom Sawyer vs. Slaughterhouse 5 while you write letters to the editor decrying the downfall of our educational system.

You are responsible for the raising of your child. The public school system is a strong program that together with parents and the business community is here to provide and promote life long learning and a strong commitment to the advancement of our communities. As a teacher of 15 years I would challenge any one of you to come in my classroom and see what happens any day of the year before you write your letters to the editor and your legislator of the atrocities in our schools.

In closing, it is the communities responsibility to educate our children. I am proud to be an educator, and won't ask for more, but don't make me do my job with less. The cuts proposed and supported by community members should be felt by the community that supports it. I do not support any district leader who states that they will keep the cuts from the classroom. The cuts should be upfront and center so that every community member can feel the new burden placed on our schools. Our schools should not become the domain of a corporation who seeks profit; I want my schools to remain controlled by the public, by me. We are creating the community in which we choose to live, and I will continue to contribute to it.




- Just some teacher

Yet another birthday . . .

I turned 40 today, and I have hit some road blocks this year. But last year, when I turned 39 if you told me that I would have run three half marathons by now, I would have said sure, I can do it. I would have started running, and like most things in my life, I would have quit. I've started a half a dozen blogs, that I update irregularly. I get excited about them, and get a great start, but then, I just let being a father of three with a busy lifestyle keep me from really getting them updated. I've started a couple of businesses, but when things got busy, I fell back on my regular gig, and let it lie.

I had been doing great on my running. But that story is really a much larger one. I started running to support my wife who had decided to exercise more. That was back in September. I bought a pair of running shoes in October, and had signed myself up for a half marathon for January at Disney. I ran that race, not really trying for anything but a finish without stopping and right around mile marker 11 I thought I really couldn't catch my breath. It was then that I realized, I wasn't have a problem breathing, it was me crying. I knew I was going to finish and I knew it was something that had a real chance of changing my life. I had finally completed something I had started. No one could take that away. But was this going to be the end? Although I finished, would I simply let it lie? So I ran two more races, both half marathons. That seems great, but I still believe that every mile I finish could be the last mile I run.

Some people wonder why I work out so much, but they wouldn't if they knew that I have an amazing fear that each work out is the last. Whenever I mutter the words, I really don't want to work out today, I jump up and push myself to work out harder. I am running around 20 miles a week, and am now doing resistance and weight training 4 days a week. I have long since thrown out the idea that I could ever be thin. And in lue of that I have decided to get huge, or at least make my arms and chest large enough to make my gut look smaller. I just don't think I can get myself under 200 pounds. But that didn't keep me from registering for a FULL marathon. I must be crazy, but I'm sure that will be a wonderful crying session when I reach the 21st mile.

That brings me to something I actually wanted to say. Its my birthday, and I wanted to thank my wife for my present. She kept asking what I wanted for my birthday, and I really couldn't answer her to her face. She would argue with me and make me feel like I was being a jewish mother and making her feel bad, but what I'm about to say is the truth. She made me a better person, and for that I don't want a present. She gave me life, it might be five years, or ten years or more, but she gave me those years.

See, my father had is first heart attack at age 51. For the last 22 years, every time he breathes funny or has chest pains, my mom's constitution is shot and for the next week, we just don't know whats going to happen. We sit at the hospital and wait for what's going to happen this time. My father is amazing and has done a great job of keeping his health up now.

I don't want to be there, but when I was diagnosed with hypertension two years ago, my first response was to take the medicine and accept what would come in the future. Then, I decided I didn't need the medicine, and that I was young enough to handle my blood pressure. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize how futile that is. I just was in denial, and was ready to start my prescription again, but thats when my wife started running at dance class. I decided to run to support her, but the truth is, I thought, this could be my chance to escape my father's fate and to not put my wife through the pain for watching me slowly deteriorate. She thinks the running is about me, but its about her and our kids. I don't want her to be sitting in the waiting room wondering if I'm going to make it or not.

Life might bowl me any number of unforeseen emergencies, but my health is now my number one concern. Its the one thing I have an amazing amount of control over and although I can't anticipate what awaits me in the future, everyday I work out is a day that I put the welfare of my family and my wife first. I am 40, and I'm gonna live forever.

The Disney Halfathon, I am now half a marathoner

In preparing to run the Disney Half Marathon, I read tons of blogs about the actual event and even more about training to run in such an event. My only real concern was whether or not I'd be able to find my way back to the busses and check out of my room before the required check out time of 11:00 AM. I know that seems pretty ridiculous, but truthfully, I was very well prepared for the actual running of the event, it was everything else that worried me.

Would I make it to the starting line on time? What if I have to pee? What if I'm not in the choral at 5:30 AM? Should I take a jacket? Should I check any clothing or a bag? Should I bring my phone? Should I listen to music? What if my e-tag isn't on my shoe right?

I came at the half marathon as a complete novice, only beginning to train starting in October. I half heartily decided to enter about two weeks later as a motivation for continuing to run, and although I had looked at lots of training regiments for the actual event, I didn't adhere to any particular one. I just made sure the each week I ran some more than the week previous. As the days ticked by and the event loomed closer, so did the holidays and being a father of three meant that as always, much would be demanded of my time. Furthermore, the whole idea of running in an event started with my wife's desire to join a group of friends who where doing the "Couch to 5K" program. So her and my oldest daughter were running their first 5K at Disney the day before.

So although my run started as an afterthought, as the day loomed closer I began to get nervous. My family was not going to join me at the finish line, a decision that although we regret a bit, we new was in keeping with the happiest family. We really didn't know what to expect and from what we had read getting to the finish line would be challenging. Also, we only booked rooms through Saturday and knew that we had to be checked out by 11:00 AM. Not that staying would be any big deal, but it was one more stressor.

My daughter had a migraine the night before my race and so I was up pretty late with my other two, keeping them out of the hotel room while nervously wanting to get back to get some much needed rest. I was finally all ready to go, all of my things neatly set next to the bed and I was preparing to sleep by 10:30 PM. I don't know if I really got any sleep at all. I was so nervous and excited for the race.

I awoke at 2:45 AM and was dressed to go and out the door by 3:05 AM, munching on pop tarts on my way to the bus. I figured the 400 calories from the pop tarts would be a good boost. I had a SPIbelt filled with some GU nuggets, my ID and a camera and I decided to bring a bag with a change of clothes, some food, and my battery back up charger for my phone.

Knowing now what I was about to enter, I never would have brought any food, there was tons to eat both before and after the race, but I wanted to be prepared for anything. I figured at best, I could be back at my hotel room showering early enough to get to a park, and at worst, my family would meet me at a park and I could change in the bathroom (smelly).

Once there I was dropped off in a dark parking lot with what looked like a sea of people all descending on the starting line. Thousands of people were marking across the parking lot to the tents. Once there, we were treated to music, meet-ups and a place to check in our bags. Not knowing how long everything was going to take, I believed the announcer when he said it was time to get to the starting line. It wasn't even 4:00 AM, but I believed him. So I checked my bag and walked through to the holding center. It was obvious that I was early, but even this area seemed full. Little did I know that it really hadn't begun to fill up. I decided to use the rest room and pound my Gatoraid Prime. I then waited, and waited and waited.

Finally they opened the gates for us to march to the corrals. I had no idea there would be so many people. I guess I really didn't understand what 28,000 people would look like. The walk was long and sometimes unlit, but people were mostly jovial and happy. It took nearly 30 minutes to get to the start, but once there, I realized that going to the bathroom would not be a problem. It was a portapotty paradise. There were staff members to guide us to our corrals and lots of music to keep us entertained.

One interesting note was a unexpected live start to the race that was coordinated to join a race planned in Afghanistan by Army personal. It was touching and amazing all at the same time.

I knew to expect that I wouldn't get to the starting line for a while after the actual start of the race, but with all the fireworks and excitement, once the race started it didn't feel like 25 minutes. Once I was past the starting line, the really was almost non stop entertainment. Although I planned on listening to music the whole time, It was only necessary in parts of the race. For the most part, there was tons of sights and sounds to take in.

I was really surprised by the mass ejection of clothing during the first three miles and was also immediately embarrassed at my own attempt to get a picture with Tinker Bell, only to be told I was on the wrong side of the course. But after I got over the shock of the start of the race and realized that everyone was just stripping down to their running cloths, I got pretty comfortable with my pacing.

Unfortunately I was not prepared for the combination of choke points and zig zaggers. People are zipping in and out of the crowd as the course itself is getting wider and narrower. There were several times I had to walk just because there was no real way around the crowds. Once I became accustomed to this, I was fine, but it was real frustrating at the beginning.

Running is running, no matter where you are. There are times when I wanted to walk, times I felt great and sped up, and times when I couldn't remember what mile I had run. I never once believed I wouldn't finish, but I certainly couldn't wait to be there. Running through the parks was thrilling. I do feel that the time in parking lots and over-passes far outweighed the times in theme parks-especially EPCOT which could have been much longer. Even with all the people around me, I felt very isolated and alone. I had been encouraged to talk to people around me, but I found myself very shy and reserved.

There were many very memorable times during the race, but the most inspirational and motivating moments was just past mile marker 11 when we came upon a stage and Off Kilter was playing for us. I love Off Kilter and hearing them play was great.

I didn't really have any expectation on my course time, but I wanted to finish in under 2.5 hours. The entire point of running was to be able to say I did it. But now that I'm done (2:14 was my official time), I am somewhat uneasy. I'm going to turn 40 this year, and this moment marked a turning point in my life, a mile marker so to speak. I had focused all of my training on finishing this race, and now it is done. I remember coming off the last over pass and seeing EPCOT unfolding in front of me and tears were coming off my face. I didn't fully realize that I was crying, as I just thought I was winded from the uphill side of the road.

Just the same, for fifteen to twenty minutes, I was more isolated than before and I began to go through all of the things I had begun in my life that I hadn't finished. Blogs, businesses, new ideas, writing projects, grant proposals, etc. many started through the years and many failed, some spectacularly. Or worse still, all the great amazing ideas conjured up late at night with friends and coffee that slowly piddled out and faded only to be picked up successfully by someone else. As I came to realize I was going to finish this race, I more and more began to see how quite old I was. The blogosphere is filled with inspirational stories of middle aged and older people finding themselves as runners and embracing their new lifestyle. Many of these stories begin with them discussing the poor or declining health and wishing for a way to increase their quality and length of life. For them, the finish was just the beginning of a new lifestyle with running the central focus. For me, I began to see this race with seminal focus as perhaps the one thing in last few years that I will have completed successfully.

As I came closer and closer to both the start and the finish of the race, I began to dwell on the future. Would this be the motivation I needed to complete the incomplete tasks of my life? Does this chapter close the past and suggest a new beginning of things I should try? Is it time for me to realize that at 40 my opportunities to have been more active would have payed far more dividend had they been started at 30 or 20? Does the end of this race represent the beginning of a life long love running, or the closing of something else I have tried and finished.

I refused to spend any money on running right up until the race. I bought a pair of shoes only when my knees complained loud enough to need them, and a new shirt when it was too cold to run in what I had. At the race I got caught up in the excitement and bought a shirt to run in so that I could have something to remember the race. I didn't want to invest in clothes, and tech, and running things just to stair at them as I sat around my house as I have with other things I have jumped into. So now what?

Well, two weeks after the Disney Halfathon I've run my second half marathon, the Clearwater Halfathon and shaved 30 seconds off each mile. I intend to keep running, but I don't know when I will let myself believe that I am an athlete. I want my kids to see what a healthy lifestyle looks like and I have registered us for the Gasparilla 5K and myself for the Gasparilla Half Marathon. I want to run the Disneyland Half Marathon, but it is not in the cards financially. Therefore, my Coast to Coast medal will have to wait until next year. In March when the 2011 Disney Marathon opens for registration, I have every intention of moving from the Half to the Full Marathon. I want that feeling next year of saying to myself, "I did it!"

If you've read this rambling passage this far, I hope you are inspired to finish whatever it is you have started. My birthday is in three months. I'm not at the weight I was hoping for, but I'm still trying. I've added 100 push ups to the list of things I want to be able to do as well as 200 sit ups. (Got the apps too baby!). My family encourages me and I hope they see my successes as theirs too.

I want to be better tomorrow than I am today.




- Eric

Unbelievable what the holidays wroght

I am now just a few days away from the race, and I can't believe how much I didn't do. I teach, and therefore, I had two weeks off. I think I spent it doing mostly eating and not running. Although I made sure I ran at least three days each week, and ran one half marathon, I could have done a ton more, and now that the race is only 5 days away, I am appalled that I didn't do more.

I don't want to run too far this week in order to make sure I don't hurt myself, but also realize that I am heavier than when I went into the holidays and can't believe I let that happen.

Ohh well, I'm sure I am going to finish, I'm just very anxious for the whole process. The getting to the race site, using the provided transportation, getting my number and tag on correctly. And now for the unknowns. I've always run alone, I don't know what its going to be like running with a crowd. Will I out pace myself due to the faster moving crowd will I miss something since I will be listening to my ipod? Who knows? Should I carb load? I don't know!

We'll find out in 5 days!


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