Why am I doing this. . . . . . . .

I was lamenting my new running schedule to someone close to me, while at the same time complaining about how hot it has been and how hard it has been to get out and run. The days here in Florida have been hot and humid, the air still, and the ground hard. I've run myself dehydrated more than once, light headed and shaky needing a rescue, but not having the humility to do so. So after a good run (the first in several months) I was looking over my running schedule and getting both excited and scared all at the same time.

So again, I was lamenting my schedule, when someone close to me said they couldn't understand why I was going to do this, you know, run a full marathon. I've written my reasons for running, several times in these pages. I'm not sure I can really articulate it. Recently, in the middle of my runs, I've been at a loss for adrenaline or motivation. But, I still lace up my shoes and get out there even on the worst of days. 

Why do I do this? Why do I keep doing this? I'm not loosing weight. My gut is about the same. I'd love to say I have more energy, but I've been going to bed earlier and I'm all the way tired at the end of every day. More stamina? A better lover? Able to leap tall buildings? Medium size buildings? Small puddles? Not so much. So what am I getting from this? 

I'm not sure I can fully articulate it. I don't know that I like running. It's inexpensive. When I run I see all the cyclists getting their gear ready and know that my shoes wouldn't even pay for the pads that go in their bicycle shorts. It's easy to do. I've so far been able to run without any special training. But like I said, I don't know that I like running. 

So why do I do it? It took me two hours to setup my calendar to include all of the marathons I want to run and the due dates for the money. I then had to add all of my running days and amounts to make sure I can ramp up my distances in time while skirting around all of my other commitments to family and holidays. But, still I did it, and as the due dates approach, I try to make sure I register.

Why do I do this? Why do I want to do this? I've had a variety of reasons. I wanted to loose weight. I wanted to be better. I wanted to see something all the way through. I had yo-yo'd my weight so many times, somehow I thought this would fix it. I have a library filled with books of things I have wanted to learn or teach myself and never got it done. I've started three businesses, and haven't done particularly well at any. 

So why am I doing this? Well, my new favorite reason developed over the summer. My wife and I are teachers. Our retirement is meager as is our salary. Another person I know has a far higher earning potential, a well funded 401K, and the potential for real vertical advancement. But he definitely works, he works, and he never ceases to remind me of how much he works. I know that he will probably be in a position to retire early and still provide for his children. Not to mention, I'm sure he has been able to insure his life to make sure his family is taken care of if things go bad. It has become painfully clear that the only thing I really have to offer my children and my family is me. Running is my chance to be here. I might spend a lot of that time working, but I will be here. I have to be. I have to continue to provide for my family, but at the same time I want to be here for them. Happy, healthy, and able to do the things I love with the people I love. 

Let's hope that will be enough to see me through. Besides, I hear they have beer at the finish line.

Education

Over the next few days I will be posting a series of articles about education in Hillsborough County and the broader problem of how to have true incentives for good teaching. I am also going to tackle the problem with competitive teaching and who it serves and who it doesn't.

I hope you will find it interesting, but be forewarned, this is a bit of a diversion and more importantly it may make you uncomfortable to read, especially if you have school age children. Rest assured, I love teaching and hold my job in the highest regard.

Faster than the speed of dark!

So neutrinos travel faster than the speed of light. Or so it has been reported at the Cern observatory. As expected, I have had a lot of questions on this subject. Although I can't speak to all of them, I can offer this bit of thought.

The universe is unfolding as it should. The rules that govern the universe can only be detected as far as our senses can reach. Although we are quite good at helping our senses with fancy detectors, scopes, and measuring devices, we are completely limited by the human experience. The human experience shapes and distorts our limited ability to understand nature. As we reach for better ways to interpret what our senses deliver, we become more able to understand the complexities of the universe.

At the same time, the complexities we unlock tend to breed more complexities. The problems we solve are solved by opening our eyes to see farther. When we see farther, we see new things, that unlock new problems. They require new ways to see, which we invent and the cycle repeats.

I think the news of faster than light travel of neutrinos will say more about neutrinos than it does about Einstein.

But, as I've always said, it is very exciting to see the boundaries of science being pushed back!

1000 Miles

On October 1st, 2010 I bought my first pair of running shoes. They were inexpensive. It was near the beginning of the school year, so after preparing all the kids for back to school, we were short on money. Being teachers, it's not like it comes flooding back into the coffers once school begins. They were a pair of Nike Free's. Not exactly the best choice for long distance running with a 240 pound runner.

My wife had insisted that I get a new pari of shoes, since I was running on some old pair of walking shoes I had been using for housework. In order to appease her, I bought these from the mall. Some kid brought me several pairs of different shoes to try. I insisted they be on sale. He knew nothing about me, and I knew even less about what I needed. I did know that I was trying to be cheap. Moreover, I had an iphone and wanted to use the Nike+ sensor.

Also, I didn't want to invest in running. This was not the first time I was trying something new. My history said that I would jump in and buy a ton of things that I thought would be necessary. Then after the newness wore off, I would be stuck with a bunch of stuff I never used, or paid a years worth of membership dues for a couple months participation. Failed attempts at businesses and activities litter my house. I wasn't going to invest in yet another failure.

After running in these new shoes for about a month, I knew they wouldn't see me through to the end. I was definitely a heal striker, and although I would begin to evaluate my foot falls more careful in the future, right now I was just trying to get one foot in front of the other. After a little research on twitter, talking to friends, and reading through magazines, I went and bought a pair of new shoes at a running store. My running gait was evaluated and my weight was taken into account. Another pair of Nike's but this time I bought a pair with more support.

Eight hundred and seventy three miles have been clocked on my Nike GPS app plus another 173 on my Nike+ app. That's right, a thousand miles. Although, I know I need a new pair of shoes, its been a hard summer and I'm still not sure I am going to make it out of this summer an intact runner. So, although I am probably going to buy a pair of Brook's Glycerines or Ghosts, I won't have them in time to break them in before the Wine and Dine Half Marathon on October 1st. Moreover, I don't really want new shoes for this run. This run will be a weird triumph. I expect it to be my slowest performance. I expect that I will actually walk part of it (I hope not but hey...). Worse, I have thought long and hard about whether or not I really want to keep running over the past couple of weeks. I'm definitely not going to buy a new pair of shoes now. I'll wait until I'm holding that next medal. Maybe then, I will remember what it was like last autumn, when the weather was changing and the breeze was nice. When I first started running and wasn't bloodying up the front of my shirts. When I didn't care about my pace or my heart rate. When I just kept thinking, "yeah, I can do this."

Just posted my event schedule

Ok, so I just posted my event schedule for the year. I don't think there is an actual chance I will make all of these. But since I now understand that when the weather is right, you gotta get busy with your events.

A friend of mine who runs ultras was discussing his schedule this summer. He placed his daughter in charge of taking care of his running schedule. He travels all over the states to run, so I can't imagine how complex his event schedule actual is. All I did was try and put together an event schedule for local races. I didn't even try make it too far out of the city.

Now the schedule is pretty hectic once we get into December. I am not sure I am running an event each week through January, but I got them all on my calendar so that I can make a good run at the season while its here.

Now is the time

I just completed filling out my training schedule for my first marathon. January 8th, 2012 during Walt Disney World's Marathon Weekend, I will be among thousands of others during my first marathon. Sixteen weeks of training remain between now and then, and I have set up a challenging yet achievable schedule to get me there. I ramp up to 20 miles by the middle of December so that I can begin my taper through the holidays and be ready and refreshed in time for the run.

I can't say that I am excited. Nervous, curious, concerned. All of these adjectives are more appropriate. However, I have also had a depressing and discouraging summer. As I attempted to maintain my training over the hot summer, I have slowly deteriorated. I bought into a gym in order to build muscle mass and have an air conditioned place to hit the treadmill. I bought a nice sports watch (Garmin Forerunner 610 to be discussed later). I read running and health conscious books feverously. Yet, by the end of the summer I could barely muster runs longer than 8 miles. EIGHT MILES! Are you kidding!

I ran ten miles on Saturday, while requiring a half mile walk near the end. This was better than previous runs, but clearly not the level for which I was targeting. The heat has just killed me. Now, with two weeks to go before my next half marathon, I am really concerned that this whole running thing was just a cruel joke. What made me think I could actually be a runner? 40 years old, 210 pounds, hairy with bloody nipples. What the hell? Shouldn't I be drinking beer and grunting at the tv?

I've been asked recently why I want to run a marathon. Six months ago when I paid the registration fee, I could have easily answered that question. Now, I'm not sure. I could repeat all the reasons I've heard others say, but all of them would be a lie. Right now the only reason I could recount that would actually be true is, "I've already paid for it and there are no refunds." I'm not sure that will be enough to see me across the finish line.