I turned 40 today, and I have hit some road blocks this year. But last year, when I turned 39 if you told me that I would have run three half marathons by now, I would have said sure, I can do it. I would have started running, and like most things in my life, I would have quit. I've started a half a dozen blogs, that I update irregularly. I get excited about them, and get a great start, but then, I just let being a father of three with a busy lifestyle keep me from really getting them updated. I've started a couple of businesses, but when things got busy, I fell back on my regular gig, and let it lie.
I had been doing great on my running. But that story is really a much larger one. I started running to support my wife who had decided to exercise more. That was back in September. I bought a pair of running shoes in October, and had signed myself up for a half marathon for January at Disney. I ran that race, not really trying for anything but a finish without stopping and right around mile marker 11 I thought I really couldn't catch my breath. It was then that I realized, I wasn't have a problem breathing, it was me crying. I knew I was going to finish and I knew it was something that had a real chance of changing my life. I had finally completed something I had started. No one could take that away. But was this going to be the end? Although I finished, would I simply let it lie? So I ran two more races, both half marathons. That seems great, but I still believe that every mile I finish could be the last mile I run.
Some people wonder why I work out so much, but they wouldn't if they knew that I have an amazing fear that each work out is the last. Whenever I mutter the words, I really don't want to work out today, I jump up and push myself to work out harder. I am running around 20 miles a week, and am now doing resistance and weight training 4 days a week. I have long since thrown out the idea that I could ever be thin. And in lue of that I have decided to get huge, or at least make my arms and chest large enough to make my gut look smaller. I just don't think I can get myself under 200 pounds. But that didn't keep me from registering for a FULL marathon. I must be crazy, but I'm sure that will be a wonderful crying session when I reach the 21st mile.
That brings me to something I actually wanted to say. Its my birthday, and I wanted to thank my wife for my present. She kept asking what I wanted for my birthday, and I really couldn't answer her to her face. She would argue with me and make me feel like I was being a jewish mother and making her feel bad, but what I'm about to say is the truth. She made me a better person, and for that I don't want a present. She gave me life, it might be five years, or ten years or more, but she gave me those years.
See, my father had is first heart attack at age 51. For the last 22 years, every time he breathes funny or has chest pains, my mom's constitution is shot and for the next week, we just don't know whats going to happen. We sit at the hospital and wait for what's going to happen this time. My father is amazing and has done a great job of keeping his health up now.
I don't want to be there, but when I was diagnosed with hypertension two years ago, my first response was to take the medicine and accept what would come in the future. Then, I decided I didn't need the medicine, and that I was young enough to handle my blood pressure. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize how futile that is. I just was in denial, and was ready to start my prescription again, but thats when my wife started running at dance class. I decided to run to support her, but the truth is, I thought, this could be my chance to escape my father's fate and to not put my wife through the pain for watching me slowly deteriorate. She thinks the running is about me, but its about her and our kids. I don't want her to be sitting in the waiting room wondering if I'm going to make it or not.
Life might bowl me any number of unforeseen emergencies, but my health is now my number one concern. Its the one thing I have an amazing amount of control over and although I can't anticipate what awaits me in the future, everyday I work out is a day that I put the welfare of my family and my wife first. I am 40, and I'm gonna live forever.
